Insert Train Pun Here

I just couldn't do it. I couldn't narrow the field of competing 'train,' 'track,' 'engine,' or 'express' puns down to a clear winner. It was a nightmare even trying. It was like trying to pick between the two Democratic frontrunners only a heck of a lot harder 'cause I know I'm not going with Obama because he's got the creepy Franken-brow. (Look at him!)

So you're just going to have to come up with your own title for this post...

If you have ever collected comic books (and there are probably similar examples in every other collectibles field) then you've met that old lady at the local antique mall with the box full of crumbling, coverless and written-the-high-hell-all-over comics from the last ten years, individually wrapped in gallon size generic sandwich baggies and reasonably priced for around twenty to fifty dollars a pop. It's okay to hit that old lady.

And yet, you can't help but to take a quick flip through her tattered offerings because, well you know... there might be something. And that's how I came upon the Sugar Crisp brand breakfast cereal Railroad Fun Book. And oh sweet mercy how it was tattered. And battered. And beaten and torn and brittle and musty, but it was also chock full of charm and only cost five bucks which meant that, even though it would more than likely dissolve into dust as I scanned it, it was well worth the money for its blog potential alone.

I shouldn't have worried about the scanning, because it practically fell to nothing as I carried it out of the shop. I left a pulpy four-colored trail behind me as I made my way around the display cases and out to my car. But it did make it home mostly intact and has now been digitized and html-ed for the edutainmental benefit of you and your children and their children after them. Please enjoy it at least five dollars worth-

Kids back in whatever day this was printed didn't need your damn Wii's or your iPod's to have a good time. All you needed to do was prop up a torn out comic book page in front of them and off they went to the wonderful world of Imagination Land! This is a classic example of what I call the "God, Kids Sure Were Stupid Back In Whatever Day This Was Printed In Theory."

Kids were so stupid back in whatever day that this was printed in that they didn't even know that there are fifty states! Duhrr!

Click it, print it, tape it and play it!

It was Mr. Toots in the roundhouse with a sledgehammer!

The trains of tomorrow will be just like the trains of today. It's the tracks that will be different, apparently.

Oh, hey! I have those two other train books somewhere!

Kids were so stupid back then that they even thought trains were faster than UFO's! Stupid kids!

Now that I stop and think about it, the kids of that day and age are now the old people of this day and age which folds in neatly with my "God, Old People Sure Are Stupid Nowadays!" theory.