Thursday, September 28, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
An All-Gum post 'cause everyone loves gum and 'cause none of these things were interesting enough to get their own post. What is interesting is that I had spelled 'interesting' with an 'en-' at the start and didn't even notice it until after I posted. Hmm.
Jaws 2? If you're going to save on to a Jaws movie tie-in bubblegum trading card wrapper, why not the original? What was I thinking?
And finally, some gum ads from The Washington Post's Sunday color comics sections circa 1975-76. Have you ever noticed how I just make up punctuation rules concerning the comma-izing/italicizing of the titles of different publication. I have no idea what's officially correct I just go for whatever looks the prettiest in each specific sentence. In this case I was liking the italics.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
In 1975, Tanglewood Mall in Roanoke, VA had a terrific idea for a back-to-school promotion- fill a mall full of scary clowns and watch the kiddies beg to be sent back to school. Clowns are always useful tools in any 'it could be worse' scenario. Whatever dire straits you may find yourself facing in the future always remember that it could be worse... you could be stuck in a mall full of clowns.
On a completely different note- that under-5 grand prize of a Big Wheel had to be the coolest non-cash grand prize given in any competition ever. Tell me you wouldn't enter any contest that had a Big Wheel as the grand prize!
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
It seems like the proliferation (I had to spell check that one!) of the digital camera and the camera phone combined with the fact that everyone and their granny has a blog nowadays has created a culture where the recording of an event is more important than the actual experiencing of it. I am not one of those people. Cameras mostly just annoy me and if I'm spending a day at an amusement park or attending one of my nephews' birthday parties or hiking through the majestic Blue Ridge Mountains where I live then I just want to be doing that thing and not worrying about getting the perfect shot of it to share with the world wide web. That last example in the previous sentence was a total lie. I don't hike. I feel that if God had intended us to hike he wouldn't have invented the Interstate Highway system. I also do not go anywhere near the woods for the woods are the breeding grounds of the fearsome and satan worshipping tick, a creature which feeds upon a man's very soul and gets his scabby little head stuck beneath your flesh whilst doing so.
The above rant was meant to show you that if I do go to the fuss and bother of taking a picture of something then it must have been of great interest to me and therefore worthy of your complete and undivided attention. So sit up straight and swallow your gum 'cause you're about to bear witness to three random pics taken over the last month or so, each of which show you just the tiniest little glimpse of my tickless soul. You're welcome.
For those of you who might live at one of our planet's frozen poles or a lighthouse on a lifeless slab of rock off the coast of Wales that purple thing in the picture above is called a 'flower.' I am not usually the sort of person who takes pictures of flowers. A flower is just a flower in my opinion and no matter how pretty a certain flower might look there are sure to be far prettier examples available in books or magazines or art galleries or the Internet. So unless the flower in question is right in the middle of eating an adult bull moose I'll just say "Pretty flower" and move right along. This flower was an exception due mainly to circumstances and less to aesthetics. It was taken only a couple of weeks ago, past the usual flower budding season around these parts and right in the midst of several chilly and gloomy days. I forget exactly what I was doing, but I was standing in an out of the way area alongside of a steep river bank (I assume that I was up to no good) and happened to glance down and notice this small flower hidden in the overgrowth. I kind of felt sorry for it or something 'cause it had gone to so much trouble to bloom in such an odd place and at such an off-schedule time and I just thought that the least I could do for the effort was to take it's picture. Luckily, my car (and camera) was only about five steps away from me at the time. Ten steps or more and I would have grown bored with the idea and moved on to other things.
None of that is important, but that picture above was taken looking down through the grating at the river at the very crest (apex?) of the arched bridge. I took it to show both the green-ness of the water and how high above it the bridge rose. Neither of those two things show up in the picture. Crap.
These three pictures are very much a story of me. A story that you would have to self-publish through one of those 'pay-per-copy' companies and that your local library wouldn't bother to catalouge even if you donated a signed copy with a dollar bill stuck between every page.
Dropped In Your Bucket By Steven Altis at 5:34 AM
Saturday, September 16, 2006
This postcard has it's own charms. It's not very often that you get to see the classic Scandinavian Fisch Schlapping Dance as performed by late '70's amusement park staff. Actually, according to the text on the back of the card these are 'Authentic German Folk Dancers" re-creating dances that are 'authentic versions of the ones seen at traditional German festivals.' Whatever... where's the beer?
Thursday, September 14, 2006
There was a ton of Superkernel stuff that I scanned that just didn't fit anywhere in our 4 part look at the Corn of Steel, so let's cram it all into one post and call it a bonus!
Every issue of "Superkernel Comics" included two pages of 'Superkernel's Amazin' Games.' These were printed on the opposite sides of a mini-poster centerfold of one of the Cornville cast, so most of the comics I own are missing them. I tore those posters out and hung them on my wall until they had disintegrated into nothingness. These four pages are all that remain-
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
It's the super secret Secret Origin of Superkernel today! Sort of. Point of fact, you don't really learn all that much about Superkernel's background in this issue's story. No hint as to where he came from or how he got those amazing corn-fueled powers of his, all you really get is a brief mention of how he and Hoot came to be best friends and then how they both ended up starring in a comic book all their own. So it's really more the super secret Secret Origin of "Superkernel Comics" when you think about it. But you really shouldn't. Think about it, that is. It's not worth wasting the brain cells over.
This story first appeared in vol. 3 iss. 12 of the comic book and could very well be the last original story created for the book. Every issue I have of vol. 4 of the series is a reprint of an earlier issue. The story would serve well as a last issue as it's a nostalgic summation of all the previous issues with a reassurance at the end that Superkernel would still be having new adventures aplenty, even if nobody would ever again put them to paper.
So without further ado-
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Today's post is a gallery of covers from my personal "Superkernel Comics" collection. If you pay attention to the volume and issue numbers as you go along you'll see that my collection is far from complete. Who knows in what dark and dusty corner of my parent's house those missing issue may hide...
As you look at the scans you can't help but see that very noticeable crease running across the center of each book. "Superkernel Comics" were shipped in a box half the size of the comic itself so each issue was folded sharply in half. Plus the comics were printed on paper of such low quality that even Taco Bell wouldn't stuff there burritos with the junk. That sentence didn't really make any sense, but if you don't think about it at all it at least sounds like it should be funny. Those two facts combine to make a mint condition copy of "Superkernel Comics" one of the rarest items on Earth. If you are lucky enough to own a creaseless copy of any issue it could well be worth millions! But it probably is not.
I've included a brief synopsis of each issue's story in case your curiousity is piqued by the cover:
Professor Calendarie takes SK, L'il Kernel and Rudolph on a trip through time where they meet historical versions of all their friends and foes!
C. C. Ghoul & The Gang arrive in Coolville and the Superkernel gang learn a lesson about judging people on the way they look. It's wrong or something... I wasn't really paying attention.
The story of Mort & Mary Lou's entire courtship is told leading up to the wedding of the century as the two mice finally tie the knot! Have I mentioned what a bitch Mary Lou was?
Superkernel's greatest foes team-up to destroy him with a dastardly plan envolving mind control, killer robots and a water hose! Sounds like just another Saturday night to me!
The Secret Origin issue! It's kinda lame, but I'm still reprinting it for you in the next post!
Superkernel dreams that he's a marshall in the Old West facing off against Big Bug in the O'Corn Corral.
A swingin' sock hop is really just a cover for Big Bug's latest scheme to snatch the Unecorns!
Big Bug fires Videot who wanders around aimlessly until Big Bug realizes that he misses him.