17. Monkey Coaster!

My new favorite Very Important Thing That I Must Be Doing On The Internet!

Follow this link and then another and start coasting. Note: real world physics do apply! More or less.

The Birds & The Bee

Hello and welcome to your Wednesday stop on the Bee-Wigged Blog Tour! To all you Cece Bell fans out there who are making your first visit to this blog I would like to apologize in advance for the fact that this post will not make a lick of sense. Nor a bushel, nor a peck of sense. Just roll with it...

"How much further is it to the kitchen, Jeremy? If I don't get a juice box soon I may well swoon!"

"Does anybody ever vacuum these carpets. Remind me to Google our local Merry Maids..."

"Why, Jeremy... look at yonder book propped conveniently and photogenically at the base of my Sesame Street sleeper couch! 'Bee-Wigged' it is called! Is that the same 'Bee-Wigged' book that you were speaking of the other day, Jeremy? Is it? Is that the same 'Bee-Wigged' book you read while waiting for me at the dentist office? 'Bee-Wigged?' Is that the book? Is that the same 'Bee-Wigged' book you couldn't put down? 'Bee-Wigged?' Is it? 'Bee-Wigged?"

"Is that the self-same 'Bee-Wigged' storybook written and charmingly illustrated by Cece Bell, she of the Sock Monkey & cupcake fame? Is that the same 'Bee-Wigged' that tells the touching, yet hilarious story of a very large bee named Jerry who's unusual and off-putting size makes it hard for him to find friends until he happily stumbles upon a cast-aside wig that leads him to be mistaken for a human boy who is soon the most popular kid in school until an errant gust of wind blows away his wig, revealing him for the giant bee that he is?"

"Is this the same 'Bee-Wigged' that teaches us all the value of real friendship and the importance of being true to ourselves and accepting others for who and what they are?"

"Is this the same 'Bee-Wigged' that features a surprising final reel twist like something out of an M. Night Shyamalan movie, if M. Night Shyamalan wasn't a one-note hack who's scripts read like a rejected 'Twilight Zone' pitch... and I'm talking the '80's remake, not the original?"

"Is this the same 'Bee-Wigged' of which I speak?'


"It is!"

"Well, Jeremy... I think that I should very much enjoy reading this delightful book for myself!"

"Dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-dum-dum!"

"Dum-de-de-de-dum-de-dum!"

"Someone has doodled in our book..."

"This is a very high quality grade of paper, Jeremy."

"What do you mean when you say that you are having second thoughts about me reading this book, Jeremy? I thought that you couldn't recommend it highly enough!"

"Well... why should I have a problem with a giant bee?

"Well, giant bunnies are a completely different matter now aren't they, Jeremy? And I'm not sure that I appreciate your use of the term 'freaked-out.' That scream was my fear-instilling battle-cry and the tears... they were... well I have very dry corneas if you must know!"

"Nonsense, Jeremy! I shall be fine!"

"Freaked-out by a giant bee... the very thought!"

"GIANT BEEEEEE!!!!!!"

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!"

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!"

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!"

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!"

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!"

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!"

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!"

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!"

"SLUUUUUUURRRP!"

"Aaaaaaaah-"

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!"

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!"

And I could go on like this all day. Ya'll should get out now while you still can. In fact, you should all put on some pants, grab your car keys and head on down to your local bookseller and pick up a copy of 'Bee-Wigged' (and any other book that catches your eye) for yourself! Or if you are like me and you haven't done a load of laundry in four and a half weeks then you can head on over to Amazon and order a copy.

They don't care if you're not wearing pants. That's like their slogan or something.

"AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!"


Check out the rest of the Bee-Wigged Blog Tour!

Monday: Sam Riddleburger's Blog

Tuesday: The Poop Deck

Thursday: Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast

Thursday: Books Together

Friday: ScopeNotes

Saturday: Back to the MotherBlog for a really big prize giveaway- win an original illustration from "Bee-Wigged!"

Knit Of The Living Dead

My grandmother use to be a crazy crocheting machine and over the years she made many, many cool things for her grandchildren & great-grandchildren including giant (nearly three feet tall) floppy frog people with long Doctor Who-ish scarves, spaceships full of tiny green finger puppet aliens and animal hand puppets with big red tongues you could wiggle with finger power. She also crocheted a Christmas stocking for me, my brother, our cousins and all their kids which we all still use and made each of her grandchildren a huge afghan when they graduated high school. She gave me tons of neat things which I still have sitting around the house... however, she never made me a blood-covered zombie. Why, I'll never know. If I knew how to crochet then the first thing popping out of my needles would be a horde of the living dead.

If you do knit and are looking for some awesome Hallowe'en ideas then follow this link for a look at "Yarn of the Dead." (Runner-up for this post's title. Couldn't waste a perfectly good pun now could I?) If you don't knit then just print out some of those pictures and give them to your grandma along with a couple of skeins of yarn in "Rotting Flesh Blue."

Life Squared

That guy has excellent taste in reading material...

This is just one of many 'found photos' on display in the galleries of Square America

Links That Time Forgot

I'm not such a complete throwback that even I don't realize that the reign of 'The Sims' has long since become the stuff of which 95-seconds worth of an episode of "I Heart The Which-Is-Its" is built around. It's been some time since I gave up on my dreams of recreating every fictional city in the DC Comics Universe in Sim-land form or of building an entire neighborhood populated by nothing but pornographic versions of beloved storybook characters. I was once as Sims-addicted as the next virgin... 12 different neighborhoods I had. I had a neighborhood full of nothing but animal people. I had a neighborhood where it was Halloween 365-days a year. I had the biggest gay Sims neighborhood on the Eastern seaboard of the United States. Those last two things were pretty much the same. I had all this and yet there was so much still to be done. I had plans.

Then about a year and a half ago I moved and somehow managed to loose the cd on which I had burned every original object and skin I had downloaded over the previous three years. It was like a death. That cd represented hours and hours and hours of lonely nights' work. I still cringe when I think of the lost skins... two beautiful dragons, a skateboarding demon, the princess from the Candyland board game... it was all too much to bear. I could never look at the Sims in the same way.

Then yesterday in the course of Googling something else entirely I fell upon a Sims site which I had somehow managed to miss in all my sad-boy years of daily forum-surfing... a Sims site with- Oh God! Dare I believe my eyes?- a Godzilla skin! I never thought it possible! And lord help me, there's Rodan right beside him, and some other Giant Monster Somebodies who I don't recognize but are still awe-friggin'-some! And Ultraman! And King Kong!

The old Sims fire was alive in me again! I cranked up my "Makin' Magic" disc and started doing just that. God bless you Sims Pit!

So if anbody other than me will still cream over this kinda thing, that's a link up there at the top in case you missed. Enjoy. It's awesome.

But damn it, now I need Pee & Poo skins!

Kiss & Bajs

It's disturbing, it's Scandinavian... it's Pee & Poo. Smearing a fecal colored rainbow of joy wherever they roam!