Small chairs shaped like Elmo that giggle and vibrate when you sit on them are disturbing to everyone, not just the birthday boy.
Always have a bouncy castle.
Always insure that the bouncy castle is properly inflated.
Snacks should always be from the greasy and/or sticky food groups.
For party favors you can never go wrong with figurines of Minnie Mouse dressed as a Victorian hooker.
Mickey the Ripper sold separately.
No clowns. Clowns bad.
Always have plenty of face paint on hand. Kids love face paint!
When it's asked by a pack of slavering four-year-olds, the words "Sure. Why not?" are never the correct answer to the question, "Can we paint your face?"
Party like it's the last day of Mardi Gras!