Monday, October 31, 2011

Just Under The Wire

The bad news is that a self-destructing modem caused me to miss out on the last few days of this year's countdown. The good news is that all the stuff I didn't get to post in the last two days will make for a nice head start to next year's countdown. The other good news is that the new modem is up and running just in time to wish you all-

And if you all can stand one more day of Countdown fun then stop back by tomorrow and I'll have a post full of some of the photos ya'll would have seen this weekend if the fates had been so kind!

"Bwack-Bwack-Bwack-Bwack-Bwack-Bwack-Bwack-Bwack, Batman!"

Here's a cartoon from the book "Scream Cheese and Jelly" which I posted about earlier in the countdown. This one tickled me so that I had to give it a post all its own.

I'm a sucker for fowl humor.

Friday, October 28, 2011

No Hope

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Too Ghoul For School

After a four year absence, Ghoul & The Gang make their triumphant return to the Countdown!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Clown White

As part of his blog's contribution to this year's countdown, John Rozum is offering up a different paper mask every day for you to print out and, I'm assuming, wear to work. That's what I'm doing. Now, not to steal John's thunder or anything, but I'm pretty sure that if he spent another 100 years scanning and posting paper masks he would never find anything as terrifying as this clown mask from an old issue of Jack & Jill. This is not your average run of the mill level of clown horrification either. This clown is something just a step above regular clown evil. This clown will eat your face off and then write a seven part series of articles about the experience for Rolling Stone Magazine. This clown will not only tip 10% for perfectly adequate table service, but he will also use his new iPhone tip calculating app to figure out how much that 10% will be. This clown makes honey badger care. This clown is standing right behind you, even as you read this. Good luck with that.

You Get Three Guesses And The First Two Don't Count...

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Monster Jams

The Unsettling Private Lives of Superperson and Mudball

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Milk Dud

Have you ever been at a book sale and saw an old children's book there that you thought would be full of all sorts of great illustrations for your blog's Hallowe'en Countdown so you snatched it up without even giving a quick glance inside, but when you got home and thumbed through it you realized how mistaken you were? That there were only a few drab drawings of a couple nondescript kids and a little old lady? Well, this is that book.

As far as the story... well, as early as the second page I was reassured that in spite of their previously pagan ways and their worshiping of the Prince of Darkness, the Celts eventually accepted the one God so- "Whew!" That's all I was really worried about, anyway.

There is, however, this picture of a cow with a sheet over its head, so it wasn't a complete waste of a dime-

That 70's Show

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Plastic Pumpkins After Dark

I saved this post for late on a Saturday night because of the slightly risque nature of its origins. Hopefully all of the little kiddies are tucked safely in bed by now because the image above comes straight to you out of a 1974 copy of Penthouse Magazine! Believe you me when I started thumbing through a skin mag that was published before I had even started to lose my baby teeth the last thing I expected to find was material for the Hallowe'en Countdown, but there it was. And what a strange little critter it is. Looking at this cartoon you'd probably think that it was an accompanying illustration to this issue's token piece of literature, but you'd be wrong. This was a full-page, full-colored cartoon sandwiched all by its lonesome between that month's centerfold (her name was Doone Buddy) and an article about the coming gas crisis. Just bizarre. I have no idea what the cartoonist was going for here. Was he trying for a macabre Charles Addams vibe? Did he forget that Charles Addams was macabre and funny? Is there something going on here that I'm missing? Had the surgical staff just gotten back from a business meeting at a sushi bar? Is this irony?

The other interesting 'thing' about this cartoon is that it predates John Carpenter's version of The Thing, and that movie's defibrillator scene, by almost a decade. I'm not saying that John Carpenter steals all his ideas from old porno mags, but he probably almost certainly does.

And yes, it was all I could do to not title this post 'Tentacle Porn,' but that kind of web traffic I don't need. Although, now I've gone and said it so there's that bell having been rung.

How To Host A Dynamite Monster Bash, Step Two: The Decor

Friday, October 21, 2011

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Open Wide

You Don't Choose The Pumpkin, The Pumpkin Chooses You...

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

True Crypt

In the past six years of participating in the Hallowe'en Countdown I've been responsible for sharing an awful lot of headache-inducing attempts at humor, but I really think that I may have crossed a line here and for that I apologize.

From "Wacky Classics" by Tony Tallarico.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Creature Of The Night

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Plant Scratch Fever

It's Hallowe'en lottery card scratch off time!

I have to say that I'm a little bit disappointed that the Virginia Lottery went with a 'Plants Vs Zombies' tie-in this year. Not that I am in any way against crass commercialism, I just enjoy a more classic Hallowe'en motif on my lottery tickets. But if I win $500 I'll make do without the Jack O'Lanterns and black cats just fine.

Did not win $50.

Did not win $20.

That is the second time in a space of less than 30 seconds that I have not won $20. What are the odds of that happening?

Really, you stupid 'Plants Vs Zombies' scratch off card? I didn't even win $5? Really?

I better at least get a free ticket out of this...

Stupid 'Plants Vs Zombies' lottery card!