Tuesday, October 01, 2013

Patch Madman

"It's looking to be a mighty nice plastic pumpkin crop we've got coming in this year, Jeremy. I reckon we'll have us a fine yield come harvest time!"

"Why, the plastic pumpkins stretch on pert near as far as the eye can see! A thing that you wouldn't just have to take our word for if the prop department hadn't of waited until the very last possible moment to throw this thing together."

"Yes sir, Jeremy! I believe this year's batch of plastic pumpkins will be even better than last's"

"What do you mean we never harvested last year's crop. Of course, we harvested last year's crop! Whatever could have distracted us from such an important and anticipated task as our annual plastic pumpkin gathering?"

"Well yes, Jeremy. You are correct. That Simpsons Tapped Out Hallowe'en update was fiendishly addicting. But... good heavens!! Does that mean last year's crop has been growing untended all this time? Surely there can be nothing left back there but withered vines and rotted gourds! Surely!"

"Hasten, Jeremy! We must investigate!"

"A bit unruly back here..."

"It grows darker as we plunge deeper into the twining tendrils! Stick close together, Jeremy!"

"These 'pumpkin vines' look suspiciously like ivy to me..."

"If we die out here Jeremy I just want you to know that I never felt as if I received all the accolades that were due me in this lifetime."

"Whatever happens to us Jeremy always remember... our cause was a noble one and our lives but a small sacrifice to make in its name. Although I feel obliged to add that I have long since forgotten why I dragged us out here in the first place."

"What the- ?"

"... mother of God..."

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