Saturday, July 07, 2007

Saturday Is Steakday!

The following presentation is made possible by a grant from the fine folks at Bonanza-

In what would appear to be a souvenir from an elementary school field trip to a local Bonanza restaurant, we follow Tommy & Susie (who, in spite of the under title lead status billing and Tommy's rather depressing career aspirations, don't appear to be of any more importance to the plot than any of their other black & white classmates) as they scope out what goes on behind the scenes at every-70's-body favorite steak house chain. Now if I ever did go on a school trip to Bonanza I have no memory of it. The only field trip I can ever remember going on was to Monticello. We went to Monticello seven or eight times a month every single freakin' month for the twenty or so years I was in school. I am so damn sick of Monticello I can't even tell you and yet the only thing I can even remember about the place is that so-called "genius" Thomas Jefferson invented a clock that was so big that it not only spanned an entire entrance hall, but hung down through the floor and into the basement! I mean they had smaller clocks even back then didn't they? What's the point Mr. Declaration of Independence?

"As for you, Miss Carter... your debt to the Company has been repaid in full. Leave this place now and speak not of what you have seen here!"

Even for a six-year-old this is a pretty half-assed attempt at coloring. I've shamed myself today.

"Hey, Broilerman!"

"Hey, Earl!"

"So... 200 steaks an hour and they're all done just the way we want them?"

"Yeah really, right?"

"Bonanza loves kids... is a cookbook!"

Wait... illustrated by who now?


Maria said...

What, a couple free french fries and Tommy's willing to sign his soul away to Bonanza for all eternity?!

Steven A. said...

Of course you have to remember that these are 1970's french fries that we're talking about here. All those trans fatty acids probably went straight the the poor kid's brain and clogged up his normal thought processes!