Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Christmas Is Just Around The Corner...

And for anybody out there who may be looking for gift ideas for a certain blogger (i.e. me) may I present... The Tube O' Fire!

Kills weeds... melts ice... scorches the flesh from your enemies faces!

Once I've crossed this off my list I'll be that much closer to my life long dream of becoming an honest-to-gosh costumed vigilante. All I need now are a grapple hook, some smoke bombs and lots and lots of Kevlar!

8 comments:

Sparkle Plenty said...

Steven? Steven A.? Where is the "land of pretty gardens"? I wish to go there.

That lady scares me. I think she "jet-rodded" her family and is now advancing upon the neighborhood. "Sterilizing ground."

Steven A. said...

The land of pretty gardens is as far away as forever and as close as yesterday...

And yes, she does have a bit of the Cyberman about her.

Sparkle Plenty said...

"as far away as forever..."

Okay. I think I have that AAA map.

"...and as close as yesterday..." That one I'm not sure about. Do I take a left or a right at Cleveland?

(Ah! I'm enjoying the fruits of your scanning!)

Steven A. said...

"Do I take a left or a right at Cleveland?"

That depends... were you already in Cleveland yesterday or do you plan on being there tomorrow?

ghostcat said...

...Completely safe?!?

I'm picturing Moltar being the guinea pig in the lab, gettin' the groove on some flagstone burning all one-handed in a comfortable standing position, really just loving it... Then BOOM he's on fire and doing that funny running-while-on-fire-pleading-for-help-and-waving-his-hands-over-his-head thing he does so well.

Also should've listed cool-ass flashlight as a use. And how about suave lighter to spark the ladies' cigarette when you're out on the town?

"The land of pretty gardens" is Lake Success in upstate New York. The other 2999 lakes in upstate New York were TOTAL FAILURES.

That is all.

Steven A. said...

Your bias towards Lake Cocoa Puffs or whatever it's called is evident in the acidity with which you mock Lake Success and all its pretty, pretty gardens...

And why did I not think of that whole sauve lighter thing!?! Now I need to own one of these so bad it's making my teeth hurt!

Lushie Peach said...

Steven, I saw this article and thought of you. You may want to revise your Xmas list... Unless you don't like your neighbors. Then it makes an ideal gift!

Steven A. said...

lushie, thanks much for the link. It was very informative... "accidently" set fire to the neighbor's yard... "accidently." I'll have to remember that word for the police reports.