A Day Late And A Doubloon Short

"Avast and welcome ye scurvy dogs! I be Cap'n Freaky-Ass-Naked-Fleshy-Feathery-Nipple-Eyed-Conjoined-Chicken-Man-Thing-Creature-Beast-In-Pixie-Boots and this be me conjoined first mate Jeremy and we be wanting to welcome you all aboard the good ship Plastic Pumpkins! Yoo hoo hoo and all that!"

"We all be in a Jolly Roger of a mood today what with it being Talk Like A Pirate Day, shiver my timbers and the like! So in honor of the occasion we be... just a moment, Jeremy... I say in honor of Interplanetary Talk Like A Pirate Day Jeremy and... not now Jeremy! I am speaking like a pirate! Can it not wait? ...but... I am very busy right... yes, but... oh, very well! What is it!?!

"Yesterday? No Jeremy, I am sure that you are mistaken..."

"No, Jeremy. Today is the 19th, tomorrow will be the 20th."

"I know that you know how to read a calender, Jeremy. I too know how to read a calender and I am telling you that today is the 19th."

"The 19th, Jeremy."

"No, it is the 19th! Jeremy, I am telling you- very well! Bring me my handy dandy three year checkbook calender!"

"See you there, Jeremy? It is Thursday the twe-"

"Oh, Jeremy. I am mortified...."

"Do you think that they are still there, Jeremy?"

"Perhaps if we hold very still then they will go away."

"They are not going away, Jeremy."

"Very well, Jeremy. If they will not leave than we must find a way to remove ourselves from the scene of my terrible humiliation while maintaining what is left of my dignity and sense of self-worth."

"Run, Jeremy, run!"

"I believe that we shall skip National Gorilla Suit Day, Jeremy..."