There Are No Cows On Yancy Street

More interactive fun from the House of Pumpkins! Read along with us today as we see what happens when farm life, gay rights and the Fantastic Four run head-long into one another! You can help the Fantastic Four by coloring in the black and white pictures! Use your imagination to add as many wonderful colors to the FF's world as you would like, just remember... the Thing is orange, Sue is blond and the FF's uniforms are blue! If you use colors other than these- you are wrong and people will probably make fun of you!

Hey kids! Remember to get Mom and Dad's permission before using crayons on the monitor!

Our story begins at the Baxter Building, where Reed Richards has an amazing idea! One that doesn't involve imprisoning his fellow super-heroes in some horrifying hell-dimension-

Reed, you insincere bastard...

Oh, no! It's the Pink Fink! Arch enemy of the Fantastic Four and general all-around scourge of goodness! His past battles with the FF have been epic! The stuff from which legends are born! You've just never heard of him before because of Marvel Comics' policy concerning gay characters!

Meanwhile... on a farm that couldn't possibly be anywhere near Happy Valley...

Whoa! That wasn't a 'tap,' Mr. Grimm!

The bull may have given you the cold shoulder, but at least the piggies still love you!

While Ben engages in some inappropriate behavior with the farm animals everybody's favorite homicidal-killing-machine-slash-kid-genius-companion-and-nanny draws attention to himself by exploring the surrounding countryside...

Could it be? Are the Fantastic Four really vacationing at the same gay dude ranch as their colorful nemesis? What are the odds!?!

H.E.R.B.I.E spirals out of control, the stony unforgiving ground barreling towards him! Is there no hope for the little robot?

Damn. I mean... Hurrah!

H.E.R.B.I.E recounts the last terrifying seconds to the rest of our horror-struck quartet, including the last thing he witnessed before plummeting earthward- a pink flash!

Stupid, stupid, stupid Susan... why are you so stupid?

Wow, that took you a lot longer than I thought it would. Did you have trouble with 12-Down?

Tee, hee... he said 'poof!'

How can you even get out of bed every morning knowing just how stupid you are, Sue?

"And have you seen Johnny anywhere recently?"

And the battle of the century ends!

Things look bad for the Fantastic Four! Is there anyone left who could possible be mighty enough to face down the dreaded Pink Fink?

H.E.R.B.I.E = Homo-Eradicating Robot, Babysits In Emergency.

I'll give you a hint... she's really, really stupid.

Electra-Awesome!

If it's wrong to love the fact that Electra Woman is talking about vibrators and fellatio than I don't want to be right...

Don't Think Too Hard On The Fact...

... that Goofy's best friend is a mouse. I'd start sleeping with one eye open if I were you Mickey!

Happy Hallowtines!

I found these Hallmark Valentine's Day cards in a drawer full of junk a couple months back and immediately thought about what a cool Hallowe'en post they would make. Then I almost immediately thought that Valentine's Day cards, even ones featuring the walking undead, are probably better suited as a Valentine's Day post. Then a few seconds past immediately I thought about the chances that I might fall under a train between now and February and thus deprive the world of these two scans. I couldn't let that happen. I also couldn't waste a perfectly good Valentine's post either, especially since that holiday is going to be a lot harder to blog about than Hallowe'en. I'd like to get at least a week's worth of posts out of that particular holiday and to tell you the truth, I just don't have the material to get it done.

So I had a cool idea that will not only get me two post off of one subject but may also mean the end of all life as we know it. See, I posted these cards back in October and now that February has rolled around I'm re-posting that exact same entry with just a few cosmetic changes. Then I'll add a link in that old post that sends people back to this new post where I will have added a link that sends them right back to the October post which has a link that sends them back to this post... Moebius Loop! I'm not sure what will come of this exactly, but if enough people jump on this direct link merry-go-round at the same time then the Internet will probably collapse in on itself taking the rest of the universe along with it. And that could probably be interesting.

Things To Make & Match

My bottomless pile of ancient Highights magazines has failed me miserably in the Valentine's Day department. These two and a quarter pages worth of holiday related material wouldn't even have been worth the scanning and posting if not for that scary-ass bleeding-eyed Indian kid in the lower corner of the second craft page. That kid looks like something that would come crawling out of a mirror in a Japanese horror flick.

Freaky.

Meanwhile, Back At The Electric Company...