Sunday, December 17, 2006

"Santa & The Space Men"

So you're wanting to know if I have anything of a UFO Christmas persuasion laying around the house, do you? Well it's funny you should ask... you're all probably familiar with the legendary and long thought lost to the ages late '50's short film "Santa & The Space Men, or How Mr. Claus Met The Elves." Well as it turns out, my recently deceased great uncle Nestor worked as a prop man on that same film (he propped up one of the trees in the background) and whilst dumpster diving on the studio lot a few weeks after production had wrapped Uncle Nestor came across a discarded copy of the film which he decided to hold onto as a small memento of the many long hours he spent working on the movie. I have recently re-discovered this brittle reel of film at the bottom of a trash bag full of old Highlights Magazines which my Uncle deeded me in his will... as this is the only copy of the film known to exist, I don't have to tell you that quite a fierce bidding war has erupted amongst several different parties who are all interested in restoring the film and re-releasing it for the enjoyment of a whole new generation of viewers! It may be quite awhile before the general public ever again lays eyes on this Yuletide classic in all its glory, but in the spirit of the season I'm posting a few screen caps from the film along with some snippets of dialogue so that visitors to this blog can get a small taste of the joys that await them! I hope that you come to love it as much as I do!

"... and the arthritis isn't making it any easier you know. Have you ever tried to carve a dolly from a hunk of wood? I don't know how much longer I can keep this up... those Eskimo folk I had working for me did a pretty good job of it, but the food bills alone nearly put me into bankruptcy. The price of blubber these days! I'm thinking of outsourcing all the work to Bangkok in the future..."

"You think making toys is a pain? Why don't you try shoveling manure all day long? I mean, isn't there anything other than magical corn that will make those things fly? They never stop pooping!


"What the hell?"


"Greetings Earthlings and bow before your new lord and master- Jingles, of the planet Elveron!"

"My crew and I have travelled from many stars away in order to claim this planet in the name of Elveron! We shall strip this tiny ball of rock of all it's valuable resources... most notably the snow and reindeer droppings which are all that we Elverons need consume in order to sustain life! If you do not attempt to interfere with our conquest we may favor you with the small hand-made children's amusements for which our race is acclaimed across the galaxies!"

"Jolly Elf to Angel One... we've got intruders in sector four."

"Your puny air force poses no threat to-"


"Holy Sh-"



"Take them to the workshop..."

"Well this blows."

The End!


Smurfwreck said...

Man Santa can be such a hardass. I think my favorite Santa stories are ones where he's either trading in white-elf slavery, or when he's trying to blow up the planet or save the planet.

I guess my all time favorite would have to be the Lobo vs. Santa comic that Simon Bisley did at DC in the 80's or early 90's.

Anonymous said...

Another great work by Nestor Altis. Sad that such a great artist should be shunned because of his long ears.
Do you recall his great work on
Robot Santa saves Christmas: