Sunday, September 21, 2008

Nine Tips (And Some Change) For Throwing A Rocking Children's Party!


TIP #1-

Always invite some children to a children's party... they seem to really enjoy themselves. Don't invite too many children, because for every one that you invite two more will wander in off the street. I have no idea who any of these children are. They are all street children.

TIP #1A-

Small chairs shaped like Elmo that giggle and vibrate when you sit on them are disturbing to everyone, not just the birthday boy.

TIP #2-

Always have a bouncy castle.

TIP#3-

Always insure that the bouncy castle is properly inflated.








TIP#4-

Snacks should always be from the greasy and/or sticky food groups.




TIP#5-
That crunchy stuff that's leftover at the bottom of the cotton candy machine when you've spun your last cone? That's the best s**t!


TIP#6-

For party favors you can never go wrong with figurines of Minnie Mouse dressed as a Victorian hooker.

Mickey the Ripper sold separately.


TIP#7-


No clowns. Clowns bad.



TIP#8-

Always have plenty of face paint on hand. Kids love face paint!

TIP#8a-

When it's asked by a pack of slavering four-year-olds, the words "Sure. Why not?" are never the correct answer to the question, "Can we paint your face?"



TIP#9-

Party like it's the last day of Mardi Gras!




3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tip #7: No clowns. Clowns bad.

Then in Tip #8, you have a picture of a bad clown.

Seriously, going as "Matisse: Children's Interpretation" is pure farcking GENIOUS 'round All Hallows Eve Time.

Steven Altis said...

That clown is not bad, he's just misunderstood. He only kills to survive...

Sparkle Plenty said...

Great pictures, punkin' man, and that looks like a heckuva shindig. I love the little top hat picture.