Saturday, June 28, 2008

Behind The Mascots: Secrets Of The SpokesStars- Exposed!


Another Friday night on the red rope circuit... another jug or three of store brand sangria... another morning coming to his senses face-down in a ditch along a stretch of country road that smelt of turkey houses and burning tires with his shoes and his wallet missing and yet another Spanish vulgarity tattooed onto his round, yellow bum...

In the privacy of his Hot Springs Village McMansion, the Wal-Mart Smiley Face thought that the tide had hit its lowest ebb... but a ruder awakening than any back-road dawn was soon to open his beady black eyes to the frightful wares which lay ahead of him in the aisle of self-destruction down which he'd long ago pushed the shopping cart of his life...

4 comments:

Ghostcat said...

Well played! Have you notified the New York Times about this junx???

Steven A. said...

No, but the New Yorker & the Virginian are all over it...

Sparkle Plenty said...

Aw, man. I love it. HEY! Does this mean you got a new camera (perhaps a Canon whatsiedoodle)? Or, is this from the PP archives?

Steven A. said...

I'm afraid I'm still procrastinatificati.... dragging my feet on the camera buying thing. I'm the kind of person who can't lay down 500 bucks for something without several years forethought... unless it's something completely useless and probably broken in which case it's decorating my front hall before the ink on the check has time to dry.

This picture was taken with my crappy, prehistoric back-up camera which is only good for taking pictures of things I find in ditches and glowing green cemetery frogs, the latter of which is a story I must one day tell.