Monday, November 20, 2006

Welcome To Turkey Week!

Turkey Week is here! Turkey Week is that much-beloved American holiday where we spend an entire week honoring and celebrating that venerable and sage fowl who (whom? that?) would have been the Official National Bird of America if that venerable and sage not-a-president-but-everybody-thinks-he-was Ben Franklin had gotten his way. If I had gotten my way then America's national bird would have been Big Bird, but when you've got John Adams, Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin fighting over the subject then who's gonna listen to anything that I have to say? Plus, I can't sing a note.

Everything I know about American history I learned from 1776.

Turkey Week is great fun and is something that everybody should get into, even if you live in a country that doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving at all or else celebrates it in June like Canada does. Everything in Canada is screwy like that. Thanksgiving is in June, the clocks run backwards and the rivers flow with maple syrup. My point is- no matter who you are or where you live you should have a parade and kill a turkey some time before the end of the week. Who's it gonna hurt. Besides the turkey.

Now for some Thanksgiving posting. My first Turkey Week post is about all the cool Thanksgiving-related junk that I've collected over the years. Let's take a look-

And that's it. A tiny little pile of turkey-topped cupcake picks. That is so sad. That is so sad for Thanksgiving. I have an entire spare room full of Hallowe'en and Christmas decorations and the best I can do for Thanksgiving is a handful of plastic toothpicks that I keep in a Ziploc baggie in the kitchen junk drawer? It's the eternal misfortune of the middle child- overlooked, unloved and stuck in a drawer in the kitchen until days later when your mom finally realizes that he's missing and takes away all your comic books until you fess up to his whereabouts. I feel so bad for Thanksgiving. I think that I should do something for Thanksgiving...

Here's what I'll do- I will spend every free moment that I have this week scouring the local thrift stores, flea markets, antique malls and cutesy over-priced downtown gift 'shoppes' searching for at least one more cool Thanksgiving doodad. Somewhere out there a light-up plastic turkey is lying in a bin of gently used underwear with my name on it. And I mean of course that the underwear has my name on it as I donate all of my gently used underwear to charity. I will find that plastic turkey or that bobble-headed Pilgrim or that "____ Days 'til Thanksgiving" reproduction tin sign and I will proudly post a picture of it by week's end or else I'll fail trying!

This one's for you Thanksgiving!

1 comment:

Smurfwreck said...

Thanksgiving is funny that way. The only stuff I've accumulated over the years are three sets of pilgrim sat and pepper shakers from Publix Supermarkets (all gifts, all from the same person over the years.)