Monday, October 22, 2007

Ben Grimm And Broomsticks

Those military boys and their missiles... always with the launching!

"They couldn't possibly open a coloring book with six pages of guys in military drab!"

I'm trying really hard not to find anything dirty about this.

"A flyin' bomb?" What is it, 'Rise of the Silver Surfer?' Ouch! Take that Avi Arad!

Ooooooh.... the Thing just broke the fourth wall! He's gonna have to pay for a new one!

A woman standing in mid-air is enough to blow Johnny's mind. Has he ever even met any of his teammates?

Or they'll just replace you with a killer babysitting robot. Whichever.

"Wonder-Thing powers... activate!"

When I was a little kid I was so turned on by this picture of the Invisible Girl that I never even noticed that her foot was sticking out of her force bubble. What's with that?

Sue's powers of invisibility can only kick in if everybody joins her in doing the Twist! Come on, everyone! Let's Twist for Sue!

Note the firefly drifting quietly through the soundless void of black space. Bet you dollars to donuts that Joss Whedon owned this coloring book when he was a kid.

Sue wasn't even invisible when she sneaked up on the witch. Neither of these two are really trying!

People who wear that much lipstick should be careful about how they throw around the word 'cheap.' Of course, the lipstick is really my fault I suppose.

"Too far out?" "She's right on?" "What a trip?" I think that the writer of this coloring book was trying to cleverly insert some hippie catch phrases into the story. Which might actually have been clever if this coloring book had been published ten years earlier. And even then... probably not.

"With a special appearance by Lindsay Wagner as the She-Thing!"

Coloring book spaceships are the coolest spaceships.

Mint green ski boots were all the rage on Pluto that year.

A flimsy psuedo-scientific explanation for the appearance of an aparrently supernatural being? Bet you dollars to donuts that Russell T. Davies owned this coloring book as a kid.

What a curiously specific and coincidently appropriate space curse! Still, it's better than that time on 'The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo' that Daphne could only be awakened from a sleeping spell by a kiss from a 'great Danish prince.' Remember that one? Remember?

They couldn't find one page of military guy crap to cut in order to make their page count?

"This is my handsome husband, Tyrone. I really should have introduced you guys before you tried to set him on fire."

Good-bye! Good-bye! I wish I had one more clever thing to add before...



Sparkle Plenty said...

SO funny, Steven A.! And, mini Steven A. did an exceptionally good coloring job on the shrinking witch.

If you get a chance, can you check out my blog today? Some stuff is going wrong, and I don't know why but I think it's your fault. Far be it from me to point the finger of accusation, and I can't prove's just a vague hunch. I need to go lie down now. I'm seeing hypnowheels for some reason. THANKS!

Shawn Robare said...

You know, I'd watch any FF movie where Adrienne Barbeau played Sue Storm.

Anonymous said...

I like how Ben's ideal women is a rocky monster even though he is actually a human. I like even more that the rocky monster is essentially him, with a wig on. somebody needs some therapy

r4 said...

Is it published by Marvell comics? or its written by u only....enjoyed it very much....